Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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