What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
