Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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