HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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