And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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