the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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