i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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