i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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