Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
