just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize