You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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