Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
