I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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