I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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