Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
