I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
