So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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