someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You pole danced in your parka.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
