I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
