Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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