If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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