It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize