you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
