All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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