One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
