I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
