They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
