He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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