Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
