Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
