i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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