just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You smell like stripper and shame
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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