Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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