i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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