dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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