He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
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