Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
