oh god the rape fog is back!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Randomize
