She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
