Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
plz talk dirty to me
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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