Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
