I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
