i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
