shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
