she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
