The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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