He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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