So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
