I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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