she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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