4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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