I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
