Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
