so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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