I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
