he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
