i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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