yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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