Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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