he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
