I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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