btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
