Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
