Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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