Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
