After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
